A Classy Christmas...

I love Christmas decorations... One thing I love is that everyone's version of Christmas is a little different. Here are some classy Christmas decorating ideas for you! You're welcome!

Santa's sleigh is in the shop? No problem!

The reindeer all had the swine flu, but luckily the flamingos were there to help out!

It scares me that they drank enough beer to make this tree. But, they did manage to make a straight tree...so I guess they aren't that drunk!

Day 25? Daddy goes to the "sleep it off tank" at the county jail.

Here's a real class act. Daddy shot Rudolph and strung him up from the tree for the neighbor kids to see.


Aaaaaand.... nothing says classy quite like Santa taking a whiz off your porch.

Happy Holidays!

Headlines that make you laugh...

I always avoid the news because it's depressing. And I don't need any help being depressed, really. But sometimes...the news just grabs you and makes you laugh. The headline today?

"Chef Paula Deen accidentally hit by charity ham"

Yeah. I didn't even need to read the article. But here is a picture for your enjoyment! You are welcome!

No reason to turn 30

In 2011 I will officially be 30. Honestly, I'm more excited than bummed. (but it is still over a year away...maybe I will resent it before then.)
I've been looking forward to it, sort of a new chapter...a new phase. 2011, here I come!

And then...the unthinkable happened. Someone ruined 2011. Yes, the entire year. This is horribly, saddening news...readers, you're going to want to sit down for this one!
Although, to be honest, if you're standing at your computer instead of sitting...you're a weirdo.

On to the news...

Oprah has announced that her show is officially over in 2011. The world has come to an end.

"Tomorrow, Oprah will announce live on The Oprah Winfrey Show that she has decided to end what is arguably one of the most popular, influential and enduring programs in television history," the statement read. "The sun will set on the Oprah show as its 25th season draws to a close on September 9, 2011."

Arguably, is right. I'd argue that statement. Well, maybe Oprah can go live on a remote island with Celine Dion and she'll never shove her political agendas down our throats again!!! Here's hoping!!!

And, yes, the sadness was sarcasm. I couldn't ask for a better birthday gift!

You had me at...your fake written accent

You know how sometimes there is someone that just "gets" you? No, not in a creepy chase you through the woods kind of way. But, in the "you were meant for me...perhaps as a punishment..." kind of way.

This is me and my BFF. Most people, upon receiving the following email, woudn't know how to respond. Or would just say something normal. Or would tell me what a 'tard I am. But, not my BFF. He just responds in kind.

Lisa: "Ze wezzer iz zo nize"

Brandon: "Eez eet? Eet's shnowink heere.'

Lisa: "Ze same eez happeneeng 'eere too"

Brandon: "And that's nize wezzer? I got snowed on! SNOW FELL ON MY BREAKFAST BAGEL! Yeah, we're through."

We were so meant for one another as bff's. Until he dumped me for liking snow.

He had me at.... 'shnowink.' Unfortunately, I lost him at 'nize wezzer.'

In an unrelated matter, I'm looking for a new bff, if you know anyone.

A product with unlimited uses…

***Due to the fact that the holidays are just around the corner, anyone who may be receiving a Christmas gift from Brandon is not permitted to read this blog entry***



Recently my BFF and I were having a conversation about a D-bag I may have been a bit hung up on. The conversations went something like this:

ME: "Blah blah blah, hate him, blah blah"

BFF: "Uh huh, I know. There there. Hush now...no, really...HUSH."

ME: “Blah blah idiot, blah, smear campaign, blah”

BFF: “I think publicizing his recent eunuchitude would be a good start of a smear campaign. We could call the group ‘Say a prayer for D-bag’s missing balls’ and invite him to join. Better yet, let's make it a cause and raise money to get him a pair of these..."

http://www.neuticles.com/index1.html

After reviewing this website...all of my troubles disappeared. Please, do yourself a favor and visit the website. It'll lighten your load. And if you want to spoil your Christmas present... please visit "Merchandise Mart."
Enjoy the website...it gives a whole new meaning to the saying, "grow a pair!"